1st Time Apart

My parents took Toa back to Utah with them last night.

I cried all day yesterday... I miss him so much already.

I'm staying in Florida until next Wednesday to spend some 'alone' time with Ray before we become a family of FIVE! We are going to celebrate our anniversary early {which is Sept 26} and just be Kassie and Ray and not 'Mommy and Daddy'.

I cried so hard when they left. I know he will be fine, it's me that's struggling. I trust my family completely to watch him as their own and take care of him... but let me tell you, last night was weird.I've never been apart from him, so this week will really be different. I don't know what to do with myself while Ray is at work today. It's so funny, because when Toa is around and being crazy, I think to myself, awww, wouldn't it be nice to have 20 minutes to myself, swim, read a book, etc.. but now that I have all the time to myself, I just want him back here making messes and making me crazy.

I always gave my older sister a hard time when she wouldn't let us take her girls out of town with us, etc.. but now I know why.. You miss them so much. Routine. Worry. I just want to be the responsible one for him. He is my life. I kept kissing his face yesterday and just hugging him and crying and he kept patting my head and telling me "Don't cwy" which made me cry even more. I love my little man.. I slept with his blanket last night -- I hope my parents survived the 8 hour flight with him.. it's not an easy task ;) Now I know how hard of a time Ray has when he leaves us. At least I have Toa to keep me busy and my poor Husband is just alone. It is making it that much harder for me to leave Ray next Wednesdsay.. He will be home the 3rd of October for an entire week though {yay bye week} and then the next time we will see him will be when I deliver.

Son, it's so weird {and quiet} without you around. I find myself rushing things still, waiting for you to come and grab me off the computer or pull me out of bed. I was up at 6am today... I miss you soooo much and I know you're going to have so much fun in Utah with everyone. I'm waiting for Aunty Kamie to wake up and Skype with me so I can see your beautiful face. I miss my little buddy and best friend througout the day... you're such a big boy now. I hope you were good for Nanny and Poppy on the plane ride and that you listen and be the nice boy that you are. Daddy and I miss you so much.. we watched about 10 videos of you last night. We went to dinner and found ourselves stuffing our faces so quickly because we are so used to rushing to hurry and leave when you're with us at a restaurant. I've been organizing all your toys this morning. I can't wait to come home to you next week.. I love you soooo much my baby!