Time Flies

This picture describes one thing I've been saying a lot lately! I've become almost obsessed with time in itself. Forgive me if this post is a little all over the place....I don't feel it necessary to blog all my feelings, most of that is kept for my personal journal, but it's 3am and I don't feel like writing longhand.

Isn't it funny how we spend most of our childhood wanting to grow up so fast and get to age 16, and then 21? I don't know if it's just been since I've had a baby or what, but things are just going by too quickly. (Unfortunately my pregnancy didn't feel this way) Hell, it's mid-November and I can't seem to wrap my head around it.....I look at my little Toa and he's growing so fast, next think ya know, we'll be ready for #2! I look back at pictures of him on the day he was born and how much change can happen in such a short amount of time. It boggles my mind! I walk into the stores and see them lined with Christmas decor and think "What happened to July, August, September, and October?" Although I love the holidays, they've come more quickly than ever this year. Maybe I just feel jipped with no summer, I stayed indoors most the time with a newborn, and the last time I was out and about it was cold! *note to self* Have baby #2 during winter months so I can just sit inside anyways! :)

I've always tried keeping myself busy, but lately it's like I'm so determined to cram as much as possible into a short 24 hour period, sleep being at the bottom of the list.. There's days I'm so exhausted and I know it's more mentally than physically. It's going to be a big year for my family and maybe I'm just fearful of what 2010 may bring, no matter how optimistic I try to be, that I want to freeze time right now and just spend it with my family! Life is too short...I can truthfully say that I don't like how quickly things are happening right now...maybe there's just too much I want and need to accomplish and the thought of being 2 months way from saying the year "twenty-TEN" vs. "two-thousand-and-something" has got me tripping out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving everyday I have on this borrowed time and try not to take it for granted, I just really dislike how quickly life goes by....I look at some of these rotten teenage kids who have no concept of time and that are just wasting their life away being little punks and I think, God, I hope I wasn't like that....I have no regrets. I believe one shouldn't have regrets because it's exactly what you wanted at one point in your life! Sure, I probably would have made a few different choices myself in things, but I like to think I've accomplished and done a lot in 28 years. (Wow, saying that makes me a little nauseaus)

Life is too short and I've probably said that 4 times in this post, and that's why recently I've weeded out many of the negative things that have needed to be pulled... Time is a luxury we don't have and to spend it in the midst of drama is not my forte...I think I'm a just a little annoyed, well, a LOT annoyed (is that even grammatically correct?) with people who have chosen to approach me and be-friend me, and my stupid ass giving them the benefit of the doubt and loving so easily and trying to be kind, just to turn around and talk about me and my life and judge it like we've been friends forever. OR the ones who are so wrapped up in themselves that they think everything is about them and everyone is in love with them..Seriously, I'm sad for people that only have time to do this kind of stuff I speak of. I have my wonderful friends who have been a part of my life since the beginning and are the family that I got to choose for myself......There are however, a few great people that have come into my life along the way whom I cherish just as much and have added to my list of life long buddies....the ones who stiffed me with $400 phone bills and no showed my wedding and go and talk about our "friendship" to their miserable family members, when I was weary of ever opening up to them in the first place because I was thinking "ok, if you're talking about your own family, I'm sure you're talking about me" DAMN right I have no problem pulling you from my life... I don't need to be sucked into viscous cycles of misery....How dare these individuals mistaken my kindness for weakness! I forgive but don't forget..maybe that's a bad thing,but screw me over once, shame on you.. screw me over twice, shame on ME! What I know for sure is; I can't please everyone, and there will alllllways be haters! There's a scripture my best friend told me once and it's always stuck with me and therefore whom I limit my life to, and have no problem erasing bad intentioned "dogs and swine" out of my world! I don't need those type of people trampling my beautiful pearls (yes after venting like that, I DO have a scripture LOL)

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." (Matthew 7:6, KJV)

Next!

There's so much I do want to tell my family and friends....I look at my grandparents and parents and as we're all getting older I respect them so much more each day..I honestly do cherish the time I have with each of you... I am forever grateful for my loving husband, my beautiful son, my amazing parents and siblings and all of those cousins, aunties, uncles and friends-that-are-family in between. I just want to hug each of you for 5 minutes straight and tell you how much I love you! My life is better because of your love and example and each of you make me want to be a better person.. I can only hope I've reciprocrated the feelings...I take great pride in trying to be the wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, niece, friend and citizen that each of you are proud to have!! Thank you for all you do and for your love and support for my little growing family and for not being fair-weathered! Words cannot express how blessed I feel to have YOU in MY life! Now, maybe I'll take some time and finally get some sleep :)