We were planning our wedding and the question was: "when are you having kids?" Well, Toa came pretty quickly.. We weren't planning nor preventing and just thought when it happens, it happens. We didn't realize it would happen so fast :)
The question now is "when are you having another one, and how many do you want?".
First, can my body heal? Lol.. Second, Ray and I both want a big family... The fact that I HATE being pregnant doesn't help though..However, I've really been contemplating this lately. I first want Toa to be able to be the baby and spend our time with him. And I want every baby in between to get their time as a baby.They have their whole life to grow up, I don't want it to happen too fast! Ray wanted to maybe try for number 2 come January, but I'm thinking maybe not.
I'm the type that wants to spoil my kids (teach them hard work ethic and responsibility at the same time though). Take them places and give them a life where they don't have to worry. In today's times, it's HARD to do that with big families unless you're wealthy. I'm not saying it's not do-able-
I'm not talking about places like Las Vegas, or Idaho Falls either (those places are great) but I want to take my children around the world. I've been blessed to travel to many many different countries and I believe you gain a lot of education through experiences as such and I want my kids to learn to be open minded and appreciate history of the world and other cultures. The best way to learn those qualities I think is through experiences, not textbooks.
Flying solo with Toa here to San Diego was work in itself. Just a few extra items and steps is all, but OMG I couldn't imagine flying with 3 or 4 alone.-
I want to buy my kids a home, with a nice yard that they can run around in and that they can call their own and build memories. I want them to have "neighbor friends" and a community where they feel safe with a GREaT educational system..
I want to be able to save for my kids. We started Toa a savings account where we put $30 a month and any money he receives from people to buy him stuff in. By the time he's 18 he should have a nice chunk of change.
I'm sure every parent wants nothing but the best for their kids. Unless we are financially set, maybe we'll have to compromise. Quality vs. quantity. I'd rather have a smaller family with experiences and opportunities that exceed normality..
It's not so much about the financial part either. I think most importantly, it's about spending QUALITY time with each of your kids and getting to know them. I'm soooo close to my parents and sisters, and I want my kids to be that close to Ray and me as well.
I don't want Toa to have to raise his little brothers/sisters when he's 10 because we still want to have kids. Lol
So many options to weigh out. I just want what is right for our little family and what is good. I EXPECT to be able to give them a life they deserve!! :) Just some food for thought.. Maybe the Feinga Five would be good! (That includes Ray and me) :-)
7 comments:
your funny love ya mom
You do what's best for you. Your family will only be happy and healthy if mommy is. The great thing about children is that they can adapt. It may not be easy, but they adapt easier than adults and forgive easier also. Children love to be loved.And your wanting to give them a life of knowledge and understanding is wonderful. Not many people even think about the future like you do. That is such a great quality you have. Set your goals and if they change along the way, that's okay! The Feiga five has a good ring to it.
I think that each family needs to do what's best for them and that if you pray fervently as a couple, Heavenly Father will let you know. As much as it would be nice and fun to have a son...I KNOW we are done. Please sis...no babies right now though...HEAL!!! LOL
Kass,
I agree with you about wanting to give my kids the world. I wanna be the mom that can take her kids to Thailand for Spring Break. working for the airlines has really given me a different outlook on the world. ;) you know what I mean! I always said I would stay working during the kids younger years so that they could enjoy the bennies when they are older. we're talking about takin the girls to hawaii in Feb for our 5 year anniversary. Greg is nervous but I say-Go for it! the hassle will be worth the memories we make.
when we decided to start our family, we always said we wanted them to be close in age so they could enjoy their childhoods together. now I have my 2 girls and I am overjoyed! it was kinda close together- the girls are 18 mos apart. but for us, it was perfect. you take your time. and like Kuuipo said, just pray about it and everything will be fine. :) seriously, you are such a great mom!!
I had my first at a young age and so I wanted to wait til I had my next one...I waited 3 years, and I loved that gap. I did get to spend a lot of time with my 1st and give her that love and attention. I waited 6 years til I had my next after my second...so yeah I'm all about giving love and attention to my kids like they're my first. That's just me, and it's been good. But you gotta do what feels right for you and your family. What works for me, might not work for you. Hope you get the answer you need for your growing familia~
Well said, Kassie. You and Ray are awesome parents. I am all about quality v. quantity, too. I know that we're instructed to "replenish the earth" but I don't think the Lord would want any children brought into this world if they can't be properly cared for. Good for you for seeing the bigger picture. :)
I completely agree with you!! My ideal time was 2 and a half years.. But, you can't ALWAYS plan it out, right? haha..
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